In a television studio - Tasty Treats with Duncan Keats. Duncan is standing a table presenting his latest meal.
DUNCAN
There it is. Rack of lamb with a mint rosemary pasto.
We can now see Duncan through a television screen in the Stewart kitchen. Miley is watching the televison - Jackson is looking in the fridge and Robby is reading the newspaper
DUNCAN
You know back in high school I kissed a girl named Rosemary Pasto. She could've used a mint. (through consistent laughter) Her breath was very bad.
MILEY
Oh my gosh, that totally reminds me of when I kissed ...
She remembers that her father is sitting beside her and turns to him with a grin.
MILEY
Nobody. Absolutely nobody. I didn't kiss anyone.
ROBBY
I love our relationship. You pretend you don't kiss boys ... and I pretend I believe you.
Miley turns back to the portable screen.
DUNCAN
Join me tomorrow on Tasty Treats with Duncan Keats where my special guest will be Will Smith and a very unlucky turkey. Ha, ha, ha.
Back in the Stewart kitchen, Miley dips some pickles in peanut butter. Robby stares bizarrely. Miley speaks with her mouth full of food.
MILEY
I could so be on that show, I know tasty treats!
ROBBY
Mile, don't talk with your mouth full, you're getting that pickled butter all over my comics.
MILEY
Sorry.
ROBBY
I can't even read Garfield's thought bubbles.
Jackson turns around from the fridge with milk in one hand, some type of food hanging from his mouth and another handful of packaged food. He takes a seat at the dining table.
JACKSON (Mouth full)
I know dad - the girl eats like a pig. You must be so disappointed.
ROBBY
With a son like you, a man learns to live with it.
Miley rubs her finger against a tooth.
MILEY
Ah, I got a peanut chunk stuck in my tooth.
ROBBY
Well why don't you go upstairs and get some floss?
MILEY
Why would I do that when I've got a perfectly good fork here?
Miley sticks the fork in her mouth.
ROBBY
Miley, don't do that, you're gonna' hurt yourself.
MILEY
I am not. I think I'm old enough to get a peanut chunk out of my mouth alone.
ROBBY
Mile --
Suddenly a cracking noise is heard from the inside of her mouth. Miley pauses her actions with the fork and begins to walk over to the table.
ROBBY
The fork is stuck in your teeth, isn't it?
MILEY
No ... (turns to Jackson) help me!
Jackson grabs the fork sticking out of Miley's mouth and wobbles it from side to side.
JACKSON
Ar, ar, ar.
ROBBY (Walks over)
Mile, let me help you with that before you crack a tooth.
MILEY
No, I am not going to crack a tooth!
With a final nudge, the fork jumps out of Miley's mouth, and a tooth lands on Jackson's nose. Jackson goes crossed eyed looking at it.
JACKSON
But she might loose a filling!
***
OPENING CREDITS
starring MILEY CYRUS
EMILY OSMENT
MITCHEL MUSSO
JASON EARLES
MOISES ARIAS
and BILLY RAY CYRUS
***
In the Stewart kitchen, Miley is leaning against the bench examining her tooth through a pocket mirror, while Robby is on the phone.
ROBBY (On phone)
Yeah, Tim, I'm really sorry buddy, I was looking forward to playing on your album to... but I got to take my baby girl to the dentist this afternoon. (Miley looks over at him horrified) Alright buddy, I'll talk to you later, bye.
MILEY (To Jackson)
I can't believe this. He just told Tim McGragh I'm a baby. (Turns to Robby) Dad! I am gonna be twenty one in (counts on fingers) six years!
JACKSON (Speaks in tiny, whiny voice)
Oh, so much math for such a widdle girl! (Thumbs up)
MILEY
Shut up! (Turns to Robby) Dad, I am totally capable of going to the dentist without you.
JACKSON
(Through consistent laughter) You ... to the dentist ... without dad!
MILEY (Walks over to him)
That is not funny, Jackson. I perform in front of thousands of people without him... I can sure as heck go to the dentist without him Dad.
Jackson is now leaning over away from Miley having a laughing fit, face red. Miley kicks him from behind and he falls through the fence. Miley shuts the door behind him and turns to Robby.
MILEY
If you love me, you'll never let him back in.
ROBBY
Now darlin', I see how fast you're growing up, and I'm proud of you. But we both know how scared you get at the dentist.
MILEY
Dad! That's when I was a kid.
ROBBY
I was talking about last month.
A flashback begins.
***
Miley is sitting in the bed at the dentist, her father with kitty ears and a nose on sitting next to her. Miley sits in anxiety with her lips shut.
ROBBY
Just relax, honey. Dr. Cuddly Cats is just going to clean your teeth.
The dentist turns around to be a man dressed in various kitty costumes.
DR. CUDDLY CATS
OK, sweetie, open your "meow-outh".
Miley shakes her head.
ROBBY
Come on sweetie, you heard him. Say "meow".
As Dr. Cuddly Cats begins to turn the suctions on and the vibrations are heard, Robby continues to make a purring sound.
ROBBY
Meo .... (Miley grips his neck harshly) argh!
***
Back to the present, Miley is in the kitchen with her father.
MILEY
Dad, can we please stop living in the past? I'm gonna' be driving soon, I'm practically an adult. And I am making an adult decision. You are playing with Tim McGragh, and I am going to the dentist without you.
Jackson is leaning against the window, laughing his head off yet again. Miley takes some food off the table and chucks it over at his head, as he retreats to the ground.
ROBBY
That was my dinner!
***
Lily is sitting along the bench at Rico's shack enjoying a hot dog. Rico is standing behind the counter.
RICO
Hey, would you like some mustard or ketchup with that?
LILY
Oh yeah, I could use some mustard.
RICO
Don't have any.
LILY
Well how about some ketchup?
RICO
All out!
LILY
Then why did you ask?
RICO (Defensively)
Well excuse me for trying to be polite!
Oliver and Joannie walk over past Rico's shack holding hands, heading towards the beach with a basket.
LILY
Hey guys!
JOANNIE
Lily! How can you eat that stuff?
OLIVER
Yeah, don't you guys know that red meat is a major contributer to clogged arteries? (!)
LILY
Oh sorry, when we got cable, we didn't get the "bore you to tears" package.
Lily takes a big, slow bite into her hot dog.
JOANNIE
Suit yourself. But while you're drowning in cholesterol, we'll be down at the beach, having a healthy (Oliver beckons as she speaks) vege salad with green beans, peas, and ar ... hikamah!
Lily and Rico share a look.
JOANNIE
Well come on, Oliver.
OLIVER
OK ... you know what, Joannie, why don't you ... why don't you go and find us a good spot and I'll grab us some drinks.
JOANNIE (Takes basket)
Oh, OK ... I'll miss you.
OLIVER
I'll miss you more! (Turns to Lily and Rico) I am so sikamah of hikamuh!
LILY
Then you shouldn't of told Joannie you wouldn't eat meat.
OLIVER
I did for love! Bland, tasteless ... vegetarian love.
Lily burps, raising her hand to her mouth.
LILY
Oh, excuse me.
Oliver begins to sniff around Lily.
OLIVER
Oh! Hot dog burp!
LILY
Get away from me! I can't believe you're doing all this for a girl that hasn't even kissed you yet.
RICO
Wow, wow, back up the love train engineer Bob! Someone forgot to get off at Looserville!
Rico and Lily laugh together and terrorist hand-shake each other.
OLIVER
She's taking it slow, OK! She's been burned a couple of times in the past and (shrugs) she wants to make sure I'm not a freak. (Pause) Burp on me again!
LILY (Sarcastically)
Yep, you are quite a catch!
OLIVER
OK, you know what, I'm gonna' be worthy of her trust. Alright! I can do this!
He grabs the two bottles of water on the counter and is set to walk off, but he turns back.
OLIVER
Could you just ...
LILY
Fine! (breathes out deeply and Oliver sniffs it up)
OLIVER
Oh yeah, that oughta' hold me for now! (Runs off)
Lily turns back to Rico, who is standing behind the counter deviously.
LILY
Rico, I know that look. Don't mess with Oliver!
RICO (As though he is plotting something)
I'm not gonna' mess with him! In fact, I'm gonna' change the menu to fit his specific needs ... (Smiles sinisterly)
***
Rico is standing in front of a barbeque with a shirt reading "I love Meat", and has sausages around his neck. Many people are gathered around him.
RICO
Welcome to Rico's Meat mania! All meat, all the time.
Oliver comes up from the beach and sees the gathering.
RICO
(glares at Oliver) Just for you. (Sniffs patty) Oh yes.
Oliver falls to his knees as Joannie comes up behind him.
OLIVER
It's the promised land!
JOANNIE
Oliver, what's the matter?
OLIVER
I dropped a contact meat. (corrects himself) lens. I dropped a contact lens. Let's walk the other f-way (corrects himself) way.
He looks over and sees Rico sniffing up the meat. Oliver stares for a moment as Joannie continues to walk on.
JOANNIE
Oliver?
OLIVER (Walks off)
Yes dear.
He follows on after Joannie, looking over at the meat as he walks. He crashes into a table. The group gathered around Rico look on and laugh at him.
***
At the Dental Care Centre, Miley and Jackson are sitting on tiny kiddy chairs in the waiting room.
JACKSON
You know what the best part of having you as a sister is?
MILEY (Smiling)
No, what?
JACKSON
I was hoping you could tell me, cause I got nothing!
Miley flares with anger back at him.
MILEY
So what, you had to drive me here! Quit whining! Just be happy we finally found you a chair where your feet touch the ground.
JACKSON
I hope they run out of Novocain. (gestures with hand drilling in his mouth and cries out in pain).
A little girl sitting behind them screams in fright. Jackson stops when her mother comes over.
MOTHER
Thanks a lot!
JACKSON
Sorry!
MILEY
Don't worry about it, sweetie, he makes all the girls cry.
The mother picks the girl up, and as they walk away, the Dental Hygienist comes out of the office and goes over to Miley.
DENTAL HYGIENIST
Miley! Dr. Froman is ready for you.
MILEY
Froman? No, see ... I think you're making a mistake. My dentist is Dr. Reynolds, you know, about "yay" high, curly hair, always wears the kitty ears. Says open your "meow".
DENTAL HYGIENIST
Oh, I'm sorry, he's "me-out" today. (giggles) But Dr. Froman's subbing and he is an excellent dentist.
Miley begins to hug herself and speaks jitteringly.
MILEY
Um ... OK ... I ... I can do that.
JACKSON
Do you want me to call your daddy?
The Dental Hygienist giggles and Miley pushes Jackson off his seat.
***
Miley is sitting on the bed in the dentist's room as Dr. Froman sits beside her.
DR. FROMAN
OK, Molly ... Open up and lets see what we've got.
He begins to move the dental spoon near her mouth.
MILEY
Wow, wow, wow! It's Miley, and um, how about we get to know each other first?
DR. FROMAN
Fine, I'm a dentist, open up!
He attempts his previous actions once again, but Miley resists.
MILEY
No, no, no! Ar ... (stalling) how long have you been a kids dentist?
DR. FROMAN
About forty-five minutes, now can we get on with this, Milred?
MILEY
It's Miley.
DR. FROMAN
We're never gonna' see each other again, who cares? Now open!
Miley opens her mouth slightly.
MILEY
OK, um ... (through closed teeth) how's this?
DR. FROMAN
It's not open.
MILEY
Really? (pauses) Yeah, I'm getting' air through it.
DR. FROMAN
I can see that you're nervous, if it's any comfort, I am to. I don't have kids! Never really got the appeal. But since we're both here, let's ... get down, get funky.
Miley stares at him in horror.
MILEY
What?
DR. FROMAN (Hurt)
I'm trying to be relatable!
MILEY
To what, the nineteen seventies?
DR. FROMAN
Look Matilda - (Miley rolls eyes) if you'd rather see Dr. Reynolds tomorrow, I wouldn't mind. In fact, I'd be overjoyed!
MILEY
No! I have to do this, I'm not a child anymore. (Smile dawns on his face) But if wearing Dr. Reynolds kitty ears makes you less nervous ... that's cool.
DR. FROMAN
If it'll get us done, I'll wear a hula skirt and a coconut bra. (begins to dance in Hawaiian styles)
MILEY
The kitty ears a fine, thank you.
Miley grabs the kitty ears from the table and puts them across Dr. Froman's head.
MILEY
There you go. Perfect. (corrects self) Purr-fect.
DR. FROMAN
Now, let's try this again.
He tries to put the spoon on Miley's teeth, but she prevents him by saying;
MILEY
Aren't you gonna' say, "let's see your purr-ly whites?"
DR. FROMAN
Fine, "lets' see your pearly whites".
MILEY
No, it's purr. (taps kitty ears) like a kitty! Purr!
DR. FROMAN
Purr.
MILEY
Purr. Roll your tongue up.
DR. FROMAN
Purr!
MILEY
Purr! With the little ... Let's see those "purr-ly" whites.
DR. FROMAN
OK! You need to come back tomorrow.
MILEY
No! Please, I told my daddy I could do this without him. I can't go home without my tooth fixed. Please, Dr. Froman. (leans back and opens mouth) look, open wide, come on in!
DR. FROMAN
OK ... (glances in mouth) I'm just going to numb you up a bit ... (reaches for utensils to numb Miley's mouth. Comprehension slips to her scared on her face)
Miley sits up in her bed and looks up at a huge pointed needle that Dr. Froman holds up in front of her.
DR. FROMAN
You may feel a slight pinch.
MILEY
Yeah, right! Nice meeting you!
Miley jumps off her seat and flees out the door.
DR. FROMAN (After her)
You to, Mabel.
***
In the Stewart household, Miley and Lily are sitting on the couch next to each other. Miley is holding an ice pack over her cheek.
MILEY
Owwww ...
LILY (Impersonates)
Owwww ....
MILEY
Owwww ...
LILY
Owwww ...
MILEY
Lily ...
LILY
Lily ...
MILEY
I'm the one in pain here!
LILY
You think it's easy seeing you like this? Think about someone else for a change, gosh! (turns away)
MILEY
(sarcastically) I know, I am just so selfish. Shooting pain does that to a person!
LILY
Miley, you're not going to be able to keep this from your dad, you might as well just tell him.
MILEY
I can't! (accidently takes freezer from her cheek) ow, ow, ow!
LILY
Ow, ow, ow!
MILEY
Stop it!
LILY
Sorry.
She places the freezer on the coffee table and the two of them walk into the kitchen, where Jackson is skewering around.
MILEY
I already made a huge deal about how I could go to the dentist alone. If he knows that I didn't get my tooth fixed, he's going to think that I got scared and ran out.
LILY
But you did get scared and run out!
MILEY
I didn't run I walked quickly and with purpose.
Jackson walks over with a bowl of crisp chips.
JACKSON
Are you kidding me? She ran out there so fast that she left a couple of skid marks on some five year olds!
MILEY
Hey! That is only because I got stuck with doctor (impersonates voice) "Let's get down, get funky" Tomorrow I'm gonna' go to my dentist Dr. Reynolds, get my tooth fixed, and Dad will never know.
She takes a chip and instantly spits it out, crying in pain.
MILEY
Oww! (whimpers) You did that on purpose!
JACKSON
Sometimes I just get lucky.
He walks off upstairs.
LILY
Your dad's home.
She runs over to hide the freezer pack on the coffee table.
MILEY
Quick! Get rid of this ice pack!
She chucks it over to Lily and she grabs it un-expectantly.
LILY
What?
She chucks it on the couch and sits on it.
LILY
Oh, chilly on the Lily.
Robby enters the house.
ROBBY
Here's my big girl! How did it go?
Miley rolls her eyes up, devising thoughts.
MILEY (Chuckles)
Ar ... easy peasy, lemon squeezy!
ROBBY
Well I gotta' say I'm a little surprised ... and a whole lot proud!
He grabs her cheek and wiggles it from side to side.
ROBBY (Slowly)
Good for you bud, Good for you bud!
Miley's expression turns sour and she pulls free of her Dad's grip.
MILEY
Thank-you daddy. I'm feeling the love.
As they walks into the kitchen, she rubs her cheek.
ROBBY
Well I'm glad everything worked out, because I got a surprise for you. Guess what teen pop sensation gonna' be chowin' down with Duncan Keats in the morning?
MILEY (Slight laughter)
Ashley Tisdale?
ROBBY
No! They had a cancellation and I know how much you love the show so I got you in!
Winks and clicks his mouth at her, all while pointing. Lily is over on the couch rubbing her arms.
LILY
(Chilly) Oh! (Attempted normal tone) Wo-ho! Yay... Miley!
MILEY (Fake)
Yay ... me!
LILY
(Chilled) Wo!
MILEY
Wo!
LILY
Wo!
MILEY
Yeah! Wo! (Turns away from her father with worry comprehended on her face)
LILY
Wo!
MILEY
Wo!
***
The next day, at Rico's Shack, the barbeque is fallen over, the place a mess. As Rico walks over he sees Oliver slumping over the counter with meat sauces spread all over his shirt. He has chicken bones in his hands and one in his mouth.
RICO
Well, well, well. (brings Oliver's face up) If it isn't my favorite meatless meat head!
He spits the chicken bone out of his mouth as he sits up.
OLIVER
What happened? I was waiting for Joannie and then ... everything went all beefy.
Rico jumps over the counter beside Oliver. Oliver suddenly realizes what he has done.
OLIVER
Oh man, Rico! Dude, why did you do this to me?
RICO (Shrugs)
I'm rich and bored. It's just what I do!
Joannie comes walking onto the beach outside the shack and sees the mess.
JOANNIE
Oliver?
OLIVER (Goes under counter)
Oh no.
RICO
Oh, hey Jo ---
Oliver pulls Rico under. Joannie looks on in confusion. Oliver points at Rico sharply.
OLIVER
Don't. You. Dare!
RICO
How are you going to stop me?
OLIVER
One word. (Whimpers and begs) Please!
RICO
Alright, I got a heart. (Oliver sighs in relief) I'll give you thirty seconds to make a run for it!
OLIVER
Thirty seconds?
RICO
You're right. Twenty. I personally, don't think you're gonna' make it.
Oliver races off as Rico jumps and talks to Joannie.
RICO
Hello!
JOANNIE
Wow, Rico - what happened here?
RICO
Don't know. Must have been a pack of wild dogs. I'm guessing ... ten ... nine ... eight ...
Behind them a box suddenly begins to walk off with legs crawling under it.
RICO
So, ar ... where's your boyfriend?
JOANNIE
I don't know ... I was supposed to meet him here.
RICO
Really? You should call him.
At this, the box suddenly turns and pauses in it's movements.
RICO
As a matter of fact, I'll do it for you.
As Rico takes out his cell phone, the box's pace picks up as fast as it can, but it's to late ... Oliver's phone starts ringing from inside the box. Oliver drops the box completely over him.
Joannie walks over to the box.
JOANNIE
Oliver?
OLIVER
(Speaks in accent) Oliver? Oliver is not at home!
Joannie lifts the box and sees Oliver whimpering under.
OLIVER
Oh hey Joannie ... You found me. (Joannie stares at him with her arms crossed) Now it's your turn to hide. (Oliver covers his eyes with his hands) One ... two ... three ... (opens eyes) Where did Joannie go ... she's still here. (Rises) All right Joannie, I ate meat. I'm not proud of it ... but I did it, and I'm sorry.
Joannie kisses him on the cheek.
OLIVER
So you're not mad at me?
JOANNIE
You told me the truth. And that's more important to me than whether you eat meat or not.
OLIVER
Really? So all I have to do is tell you the truth?
JOANNIE
Absolutely.
The two of them hold hands as they walk off.
OLIVER
Well, your hair's greasy and would it kill you to put on a little eyeliner?
JOANNIE
Don't push it.
OLIVER (Ashamed)
Yes dear.
***
In the Tasty Treats with Duncan Keats studio, Duncan holds up a dish to the audience.
DUNCAN
There it is. Duncan's thirty-minute moose. And here's a tip: you know it's done, when you turn it over, and it stays in the bowl.
The top bit of the moose falls out of the bowl and onto the floor. Duncan puts the bowl down on the bench.
DUNCAN
OK, here's another tip: Watch Emerald, he knows what he's doing. Don't worry that was just a stunt moose. The real moose is out the back hitting on a sweet apple tart.
He rests his hand unknowingly on the stove and reflexes back.
DUNCAN
Ow, that's hot! (Pause) Don't go anywhere, because the incredible Hannah Montana is coming up next. We'll be right back.
Audience applause - and he can't turn away quick enough.
DUNCAN
Can I get some ice?
He slips over the moose on the floor as Hannah and Lola look on from backstage.
LOLA
Oh, you're a little shiny, let me get that for you.
Lola reaches for the foundation and rubs it across Hannah's cheek.
HANNAH
Oh, that's good.
LOLA
Oh, just a little more.
HANNAH (Firmly)
No, no, really, that's good.
LOLA
Just a little more.
HANNAH (Shouts)
No! That's good.
LOLA
All done.
Robby, in his disguise, walks on from behind the set laughing.
ROBBY
That Duncan is funny. It makes me wish I was a guest on the show.
HANNAH
What a great idea! (Walks to his side) You really do deserve a treat and I am overexposed as it is. (dramatically) Hannah this, Hannah that. Even I'm sick of me. Have fun in the spotlight, see you.
ROBBY
Oh no honey, we both know it's you the fans want to see chopping down.
Jackson comes in between the two of them holding a carrot.
JACKSON
I know I do!
He takes a crunchy bite out of his carrot and rubs his cheek in dramatized pain.
***
On the set, live again, Hannah dips a spoon in a dish of food that Duncan has prepared.
DUNCAN
So Hannah, tell me, what do you think? (Rapid pace) Just tell me you love it, this is TV, nobody cares about the truth. Ha, ha, ha.
Backstage, Lola, Jackson and Robby share a nod.
HANNAH
Honestly Duncan, it is delicious. (Turns to camera, speaks in soft angelic voice) Soft, creamy, and well, delicious! You could not have made me a more perfect dessert. I love you man.
The audience gives a round of applause as Hannah and Duncan share a hug.
DUNCAN (Flattered)
Oh well ...
HANNAH
Well, we're all done here, so ... thank-you ...
As she begins to walk off, Duncan stops her.
DUNCAN
Oh no, we're not all done, because I have you a very special treat.
He reaches under the bench and brings up a type of cake, presenting it to Hannah.
DUNCAN
And here it is. Oh, oh. Grandma Keats Homemade toffee bar with a hard, peanut brittle shell.
Hannah stares at it in shock as Jackson raises his hands in excitement backstage.
DUNCAN
Or as Grandma calls it, the Molar Masher.
HANNAH
Chief boy are you kidding me, say what?
DUNCAN
You're gonna' love it.
HANNAH
Ar, you know what, actually, I'm still loving the moose.
She grabs the bowl of moose and digs into it with the spoon.
HANNAH
And it's all your fault for making it so darn good.
DUNCAN
You don't know what you're missing.
He takes a piece off the food and bites into it, echoing a loud crunchy sound against his teeth. Hannah covers herself from the noise.
HANNAH
I think I do.
DUNCAN
Isn't she cute?
HANNAH
Ha, ha.
DUNCAN
So seriously, enough with the moose.
He grabs the moose from her grip, but she pulls it back.
HANNAH
But I'm not done!
They pull it back and fourth from each other.
DUNCAN
Yes you are.
HANNAH
Let loose!
Eventually, the moose flies up into the air and lands straight on top of Jackson's head, pouring all over him.
HANNAH (Gracefully, to audience)
Oopsies?
DUNCAN
Eat Grandmas' bong.
HANNAH
No thank-you, I'm good.
DUNCAN
Eat Grandma's bong! (Audience repeats) Eat grandmas' bong! Eat grandma's bong!
HANNAH
No, no, no, I'm full.
Duncan's temper suddenly flares.
DUNCAN
Eat IT!
HANNAH
Yes sir! (she stares at the giant thing) Ar ... ar ... maybe just a little taste.
He hands her a tiny piece from the top.
HANNAH
Thank-you.
Hannah takes a bite and the crunchy noise it makes echoes through her teeth, cracking. Hannah screams, in pain, louder than the studio, California ... and the Earth!
***
At the Dentist, Miley is sitting in the waiting room with her father holding a frozen fish over her cheek to cool the tooth.
ROBBY
You know, considering what happened on the show, it was awful nice of Duncan to loan you that frozen fish! Tell you what, when we get home, I might just cook it up for you! Just for the hal-abit. (Miley doesn't crack) Hal-abit!
MILEY
Dad, just cause you say it twice, doesn't make it funny.
ROBBY
Well what else could I do, you left me floundering out there! Floun-dering!
The Dental Hygienist giggles behind from behind the reception desk.
DENTAL HYGIENIST
I wish I had a boyfriend that funny!
Miley and Robby share a look.
MILEY
That's my dad!
DENTAL HYGIENIST
I know. I was just fishin. (gestures with actions) fishin!
ROBBY
Yeah. (turns to Miley) Anyhow, are, we're going to get that tooth fixed honey, don't you worry about it. I'm gonna be standing in there right beside you holding your little hand.
MILEY
Daddy, come on. I did not go through all this "molar-mashing" to be right back where I started. You're staying out here.
The Dental Hygienist walks over to them.
DENTAL HYGIENIST
Miley! The Doctor is ready for you!
MILEY
And I am ready for him!
She places the fish on the table.
MILEY
See you later daddy.
She stays sitting on the couch.
ROBBY
Mile ... (pauses) you haven't moved yet.
MILEY
Dang it, I am such a wimp.
ROBBY
Oh, you're not a wimp. You're just scared. That's OK. Remember when you were four? You were afraid to jump in a pool ... but eventually you did that. When you were eight, you were scared to ride your bike - you eventually did that. One of these days you're going to walk right through that door all by yourself. But just not today - that's OK to.
DENTAL HYGIENIST (From door)
Miley!
MILEY (Rises)
I promise daddy, next time I really will do this alone.
Robby joins her.
ROBBY
Nah, don't worry about it. Everybody grows up a their own pace.
As they walk towards the examination room, they see Jackson and young boy Jeremy playing with little toy ships.
JACKSON
I totally destroyed your shields, Jeremy!
JEREMY
Did not!
JACKSON
Did to!
JEREMY
Did not!
JACKSON
Did to!
They both turn to their dads, who are standing behind them.
JACKSON / JEREMY (Together)
Dad!
MILEY (To father)
Everyone?
ROBBY
Well, a father can dream.
The two of them precede on, as Jackson and Jeremy continue arguing.
***
Outside Rico's shack, Rico is working the barbeque gathered by people as Oliver sings a rap to Joannie.
OLIVER (Rapping)
You're a sweet young thang, and you smell so fine, you mean the world to me, I'm so happy that you're mine. Don't want no taste of sushi or chicken pot's pie, just wanna' hear you sizzle my smoking hot rib pie.
RICO (Raps)
Roast meat!
GROUP (Raps)
Say what, say what?
RICO (Raps)
Roast meat!
Oliver sits down to a table with his roast meat.
GROUP (Raps)
Say what, say what!
RICO (Raps)
Say what?
OLIVER (Continues to rap)
Some people call you fattie, but I love you just like daddy, now pop on your fork and say hello to your big daddy.
He bites the meat on the fork and Rico puts his hand on the table beside the meat.
OLIVER (Rapping)
Yo! Get your hands off my girl!
GROUP (Rapping)
Word!
Hannah Montana ©
to the Walt Disney Company. This blog does not claim ownership of the reproduced transcripts provided on this blog.
to the Walt Disney Company. This blog does not claim ownership of the reproduced transcripts provided on this blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment