Miley is sitting at the kitchen table with her phone, as she pours some cereal into a bowl. Robby is at the sink washing dishes.
MILEY (to herself)
Oh, Hannah's pouring her favourite cereal. (pause) Hannah found the prize at the bottom of her bowl. And Hannah's excited about her new monkey tattoo!
ROBBY
And Robby Ray is over here doing the dishes wondering why we're saying everything that we're doing out loud.
MILEY
I'm flittering my fans. They like to know what I'm doing all the time.
ROBBY (walking over)
Do people really care about this stuff?
MILEY
Yeah. I mean, personally, I think it's ridiculous, but...
Miley's phone beeps. She looks down at the screen.
MILEY
Ooohhh. Reece (???) just bought kitty-litter.
Miley holds up her hand for Robby to high five.
ROBBY
Well if you ask me, flittering is for the birds. Hey, write that down. Your daddy just said something really funny.
Robby turns away back to the sink.
MILEY (pretending to type)
You bet, daddy. Doing that right now.
As soon as Robby turns his back, she stops pretending. She opens a new screen.
MILEY
Oh. Lilly just flittered G, R, R, R. I wonder what that means.
No sooner does Lilly arrive, leaving the front door open as she storms in.
LILLY (mad)
Grrrrrr!
ROBBY (to Miley)
Don't ask me. Ask 'gher. (on Miley's look; chuckles) Ask 'gher. Get it? Now that's funny. You gotta write that down.
Miley rolls her eyes. She goes over to Lilly.
MILEY
Lilly, what's wrong?
LILLY
Of all the cruel, selfish, inconsiderate... (gasps and starts pacing)
MILEY
Oh no, it's Oliver, isn't it? What did he do?
LILLY
I can't believe it! How could she do this to me?
MILEY
She? Oh my gosh, Oliver's in love with someone else?
LILLY
I'm talking about my mom!
MILEY
Oliver's in love with your mom?!
Robby walks over and joins in the conversation.
ROBBY
That is terrible. It only took me one day with that woman to realize she's more than a handful.
Miley shoots a look Lilly's way.
LILLY
What are you talking about? (approaching Robby) Oh, and by the way, she said the same thing about you, Mr. (country accent) "close the (???) and blow my hair all willy-nilly".
ROBBY
Excuse me for wanting to look good for the lady.
Lilly folds her arms.
MILEY
So, Lilly, what's wrong?
LILLY
My mom is the most selfish person in the whole world.
ROBBY
I hear that, pound it. (holds out his fist)
MILEY
Dad!
ROBBY (backing down)
Fine.
MILEY
It was a year ago. Get over it. (turns to Lilly) So what's really wrong?
LILLY (struggling to hold her tears)
She...got a job (!)
Lilly sobs a little as she sits down on the couch. Miley looks confused.
MILEY
Okay...
Miley sits down beside Lilly on the couch.
LILLY (sobbing a little)
And they're giving her great (???) and wonderful opportunities for investment.
ROBBY
Then what's the problem?
LILLY (upset through facial expression this time)
It's in Atlanta.
MILEY (shocked)
You're moving?
Lilly nods.
***
OPENING CREDITS
***
Where we left off from the teaser scene.
MILEY
Moving to Atlanta? (standing) I can't have my BFF in the ATL. OMG!
LILLY (standing)
I know! It's gonna be TTFG. (pause) That's tah-tah for good.
MILEY/ROBBY
Oh.
ROBBY
Hey, well what about your dad? He just lives an hour away. Can't you move in with him?
MILEY
Dad, no. Then-then she has to go to a different school. Look, it's great that you're trying to help, but you know – the best help right now would just be, uh, making sandwiches and getting us a beverage.
Miley pushes Robby in the direction of the kitchen.
ROBBY
Got it. (holds out his fist) Hey, pound it. (on Miley's look) Pound it.
Miley pounds her fist on his.
ROBBY
What? I just like doing that.
Robby continues through to the kitchen. Miley turns back to Lilly.
LILLY
Hey, wait, well – maybe your dad's right. I mean, that way, you know, I could still date Oliver and see you...(starts to sob)...once in a while.
Miley and Lilly sit down on the steps.
MILEY
I can't believe this is happening.
Oliver walks in through the front door, and finds the girls sitting on the steps. Lilly is looking quite upset.
OLIVER
Can't believe what's happening?
MILEY (to Lilly)
You haven't told him yet?
OLIVER
Told me what?
LILLY (under her breath to Miley)
I didn't know what to say.
OLIVER
Oh no, you're breaking up with me?
LILLY (trying to be delicate)
Oliver...
Before she can finish, Oliver flicks his hand at her and paces through to the living room.
OLIVER
Oh, here it comes. The old, "it's not you, it's me" and, "we'll always be friends" speech.
Oliver sits down on the couch. Lilly walks over and places a hand on his shoulder.
LILLY
Oliver...
Again, she is interrupted by Oliver. He stands.
OLIVER
Oh, it's Gabe Lamotti, isn't it? I knew it. Well, you know what? You're making the biggest mistake of your life. I mean, I know he's got a "swimmer's body", but uh...(pointing at his new haircut)...with this new-do, I got the best hair in Malibu.
Robby, over in the kitchen, holding his mug, clears his throat and flicks at his hair.
OLIVER
All right, second best.
LILLY (starting to lose her patience)
Oliver!
Oliver kneels down and takes Lilly's hand.
OLIVER
I love you Lilly, please don't break up with me.
LILLY
Oliver, I'm not breaking up with you.
OLIVER
What?
Oliver gets to his feet again.
LILLY
My mom got a job in Atlanta and the only way I can stay near you guys is if I move in with my dad.
OLIVER
Oh...but that's like an hour away. Lilly, I'll never get to see you.
Oliver kneels down on his knees again and takes Lilly's hand.
OLIVER
Oh, Lilly, please don't go!
MILEY
I got it. The perfect way for ya'll to stay together. I mean, as long as Lilly's parents are cool with it.
OLIVER
Whoa, whoa, whoa. (stands and backs away) I am-I am way to young to get married. You know, I've got my whole life ahead of me...is it hot in here?
As Oliver continues to back away, he bangs into the door.
OLIVER
'Cause I can't breath...
Oliver continues to mumble as he runs out.
MILEY (calling after Oliver)
I was talking about Lilly moving in with me!
Oliver pops back in.
OLIVER (pretending that he wasn't fooled)
Oh, yeah. I knew that, I was just messing with you. Lillypop.
Lilly puts her arms on her hip.
OLIVER
I'm gonna go get you some flowers.
LILLY
Yeah, it's gonna take a lot more than flowers, buddy.
OLIVER
Yes, dear.
Oliver walks away. Lilly turns to Miley.
LILLY
Are you serious? You really want me to move in with you?
MILEY
Are you kidding? Of course. (turning to Robby) We both do, right dad?
Miley and Lilly walk into the kitchen.
ROBBY
Absolutely. You're family.
MILEY
Yeah, see. Everybody's happy.
An echoing voice comes from upstairs. Jackson runs down.
JACKSON
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!!!!!!!
Jackson pushes Miley aside and goes to Robby.
MILEY (shrugging; to Lilly)
Well, everybody that counts.
Miley and Lilly walk off, leaving Jackson and Robby alone.
JACKSON (to Robby)
What are you thinking? If you let her live here, there will be two of them. Two. Dose.
Jackson makes a gargly noise and points two fingers at Robby.
ROBBY
Jackson, calm down.
JACKSON
Calm down? Calm---
Jackson looks over and sees Miley and Lilly having a quiet chat on the couch.
JACKSON
They've already taken the couch! Quick, set up a blockade in the kitchen. I'll take the staircase. If we deny them food, and sleep, victory can still be ours!
Jackson goes to run upstairs. Robby follows him on a parallel.
ROBBY
No, son. (Jackson is standing in a crabby position) We're not turning our back on Lilly. Now, if her folks say she can stay, than that's that. She's staying.
JACKSON (walking back down shrugging)
Fine. Fine. (walking to the couch) But be warned, Lilly. I was here first, and I'm not gonna change my behaviour. Not even one little bit. You want to be treated like family? Than family you shall be.
Jackson turns his back on them and waves his but in Lilly's face, just before letting off a you-know-what. Lilly covers her nose.
MILEY (patting Lilly on the shoulder)
Congratulations. You're a Stewart.
***
Down at the beach, Rico is standing behind the counter at the shack wiping down the bench. Robby walks over and sits down, placing two stakes and two horseshoes on the bench.
ROBBY
Hey, Rico. Can I get a water please?
RICO (with an accent, picking up the tools)
Let me guess. You kill the vampire horse with these and then (???) his shoe.
ROBBY
These happen to be the tools of the trade of the most competitive sport in the history of man. (on Rico's look) I'm talking horseshoe pitching.
RICO
If pitching horseshoes is a sport, fluffing pillows should be in the Olympics.
ROBBY
Really?
Robby grabs up a horseshoe and, aiming, he chucks it and it lands precisely on a pole. The crowd around him cheer. He turns back to Rico.
ROBBY
You think that was easy?
Robby sits down again.
RICO
Perhaps I was being too subtle with my humour. Yes.
ROBBY
Let's see you do it better, big guy.
RICO
Fine.
Rico grabs a horseshoe and jumps the bench.
RICO
It's nothing but basic psychics. Distance, velocity...ark, factor and gravity, and observe.
Rico aims the horseshoe and, it goes flying over the pole and hits some sort of car. An alarm goes off and a musclier, tattooed man comes out around from the corner holding the horseshoe.
MAN
Hey. Who threw this?
Rico sides down to Robby.
RICO
Hey Mr. Stewart, he found your horseshoe.
Rico runs away. The tough-looking man comes over to Robby with a stern look on his face.
ROBBY
Uh...you wouldn't happen to be a Hannah Montana fan, would you?
The man folds his arms. For a moment it looks as though he may say no.
MAN (chuckles)
Well, yes I am.
ROBBY
Great. Maybe I can help you with some tickets.
***
Robby is in the kitchen, looking through the fridge. Jackson comes over and leans on him.
JACKSON
Hello.
ROBBY
Oh, sweet niblets. What are you doing?
JACKSON
Well, things are about to get more crowded around here with four people living here, so uh...might as well get used to it.
ROBBY
I got news for you son, this ain't gonna work.
Robby closes the fridge and steps away from Jackson.
ROBBY
I already talked to Lilly's mom. It's fine. She's staying.
Robby heads towards the living room. Jackson follows behind, literally attaching himself to Robby.
JACKSON
Oh, y-y-yeah, I know. And I'm fine with it. Because I don't have personal space issues. What about you, big guy? Are you gonna be fine with it?
ROBBY
Yeah, I'm fine with it. Look like Lilly being here is already bringing us closer.
Robby sits down on the couch. Jackson places himself on Robby's lap, placing his arm around Robby's shoulder as well.
JACKSON
This close? (flicks his head at Robby) You like it this close?
Lilly arrives and walks in through the front door with her handbag.
LILLY
Hey, I just took my mom to the air--(notices Jackson on Robby's lap) --port. (in passing to Jackson) Oohhh. Did somebody get a boo-boo and need a hug from their daddy?
Lilly continues on to the kitchen. Jackson jumps up.
JACKSON
You see that? See, she's starting with me. But once she gets a little more comfortable, she's gonna come after you. And ten there'll be no one left to hear the sounds of your hideous screams.
Jackson starts backing away. He turns around, and shrieks, somewhat in a girly voice, as he bumps into Miley. He trips over the plant, but gets back up.
JACKSON (to Robby)
They're everywhere! They're like (???) with lip-gloss.
Jackson vibrates his lips on each other before backing away upstairs. Miley turns to Lilly.
MILEY (serious for a moment)
Wow, Jackson seems really miserable about this. (excited) Bonus!
LILLY
Can you believe it? We're actually going to be rooming!
MILEY
I know! And I have a surprise for you.
Miley and Lilly make a conga line as they head upstairs.
MILEY/LILLY (sing-song voices)
Roomies, roomies, roomies. Roomies, roomies, roomies.
Miley and Lilly conga on upstairs. Jackson comes down.
JACKSON (to Robby)
Get used to that, my friend. Because that is the soundtrack to the rest of your miserable life. (mocking Lilly and Miley) "Roomies, roomies, roomies"...
***
Upstairs in Miley's room, the two girls are standing by the chest of drawers.
MILEY
I cleaned out your drawers for you.
LILLY
You're the best. But I, uh, I might need like a smidge more.
***
Later on, Miley's room is full of boxes from Lilly's house. She drags in the final suitcase with a grunt.
MILEY
So, what exactly does the word "smidge" mean on your planet?
LILLY
Well I only brought what I absolutely couldn't live without.
Robby walks in carting a giant toy lollypop with Oliver's face embedded in the centre.
OLIVER
All right, where do you want this?
LILLY
Oh uh, I thought Ollypop would look nice in the living room.
ROBBY (a sinister glare)
Where do you want this?
LILLY
In here.
ROBBY
Good choice.
Robby walks out. Lilly turns to Miley and claps excitedly.
LILLY
This is gonna be so much fun! Hey-hey look, even Mr Squeakers is excited.
Lilly points to her pet hamster that is making noises in his cage.
MILEY
How can you tell?
LILLY
Well just listen to him. (Miley takes a closer look at the cage; Lilly is impersonating the hamster) Yippee! Yippee! Yippee! Yip-yippee!
MILEY
Lilly, in my room, where you live now, hamsters don't talk.
LILLY
Hey, don't talk to me. Talk to Mr...
MILEY (interrupting)
Lilly.
LILLY
Okay...
***
The alarm clock by Miley's bed reads 12:59. She is sitting up in bed, awake, while across the room Lilly is under the doonas of her bed talking on the phone, unknowingly distracting Miley.
LILLY (VO on phone)
No, no we can go surfing if you want to, yeah. Yeah, yeah, anytime's fine with me. (pause) Really? That early? Oh yeah, yeah, that's better. Yeah, yeah, we can surf and then have breakfast. Oh, it doesn't matter, anything's fine with me. Really? Pancakes?
Miley's had it. All this while she has been covering her ears trying to block out the noise. She throws a pillow violently over to Lilly.
LILLY (VO on phone)
Gotta go, bye.
Lilly hangs up and lies back down to bed. Ah, finally. Some peace and quiet...or so Miley thinks.
***
A little while later, at 1:14, Miley is lying awake on her bed when Lilly starts punching her pillow, trying to get comfortable. Just as Miley closes her eyes, Lilly starts wrestling with her doona cover.
MILEY
Lilly. L-Lilly. Stomach. Back. Side. PICK ONE!
LILLY
Okay.
Miley closes her eyes again.
***
Just as things seem as though they’re normal, Miley is woken up by the sound of Lilly's hamster running around in circles on its wheel inside the cage. Lilly is fast asleep.
MILEY
Please stop. Please stop. Please stop!
The hamster stops running on his wheel. It's a miracle.
MILEY
Thank you.
Miley closes her eyes again. No sooner does the hamster start chewing away noisily at his food. Miley sits up again.
MILEY
Where do you put it all?
Miley lies back down, and no sooner does she suddenly hear the noise of the hamster urinating.
MILEY (sitting up again)
Asked and answered.
Things are silent for a moment. The hamster gets up and starts running on his wheel again. Miley sits up in her bed and whimpers with annoyance.
***
The following morning, Miley is lying down on the couch and Robby is placing a blanket over her. Jackson comes down in his dressing gown.
JACKSON
Hey there, traitor to all men. What's for breakfast? Eggs, Benedict Arnold?
ROBBY
Can't you see your sister's sleeping?
JACKSON (sarcastic)
Oh, I'm sorry, I'll just...(pretends to lose his balance)...I'm loosing my balance...
Jackson falls on the piano and starts hitting the keys. Robby walks into the kitchen as Miley awakens.
MILEY
Oh!
Jackson runs over to the couch.
JACKSON
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?
Miley sits up, awkwardly twisting her arm around her neck.
MILEY
You are a jerk.
JACKSON (proudly)
Yeah, I am!
Miley stretches her neck, as Jackson goes into the kitchen.
ROBBY
What happened?
Jackson walks over to Robby's side.
JACKSON
Yes. Do tell.
Miley is now standing. She walks over, twisting her neck and making her bones rattle.
MILEY
Nothing happened. We were having a great time sharing (pokes Jackson) our room. Until I realized I needed to come down here and get some rest, from more future fun with Lilly as life continues.
Miley seats herself down at the table. Jackson sits down opposite her.
JACKSON
That's a touching story. Too bad it's nothing but a pack of lies!
Robby covers Jackson's ears with some pikelets.
ROBBY
Wait, tell me the truth. What happened?
MILEY
Boxes everywhere, Ollipop on the phone for hours, and that darn hamster squeaking and drinking and peeing and squeaking and drinking and peeing! (Robby releases the pikelets from against Jackson's ears) And that is why it was a perfectly delightful evening.
JACKSON
Nice try. But I've trained myself in the ancient art of lip reading. Now all I have to do is figure out what bleaking, minking and peezing mean.
Jackson gets up and passes Lilly, who is coming downstairs into the room with her wetsuit on.
LILLY
Good morning, new family.
JACKSON
Morning breath.
Jackson breathes on Lilly's face. Lilly stares at him with a smile. Annoyed that she's not annoyed, he goes to breath on her again – but she just smiles. He walks off.
LILLY (to Miley as Jackson walks off)
Not even that can spoil my mood. I slept great.
MILEY (hidden sarcasm)
Yay.
LILLY
Well, I'm gonna head off to the beach with my guy. Which is right outside my new house. I love this. Okay, I will see "ya'll" later. Look at that – one night and I'm already talking southern.
Lilly heads off.
MILEY (standing and calling after Lilly)
Yeah-yeah, that'll be fun. Have a great time. (turns to Robby) Dad, go and get the suitcases. We're moving.
ROBBY (sitting at the table)
Come on darling, you can't expect it to be to be perfect right after (???). She's only been here one night.
MILEY
And look at me. How am I gonna do that CD-signing with this crick in my neck? (clutches at her neck)
As Miley continues, she sits down, and Lilly walks back to the piano to grab up her bag, stopping as she overhears what is being said:
MILEY
Dad, look. If I knew life with Lilly was gonna make me this miserable, I wouldn't of invited her to live with us. (Lilly looks hurt) But now I'm stuck with her.
Lilly walks out, head down to the ground and looking quite upset.
***
Down on the beach, Rico is preparing to shoot a horseshoe onto a ring hauled into the sand in front of him. He takes perfect aim, but Robby strides out and distracts him from making that perfect toss:
ROBBY
Well, well, well.
Rico looses concentration and throws the horseshoe straight up into the air.
ROBBY
Lookie' here what I found.
A colourful kite with a hole in it lands on the sand.
RICO
Thanks a lot.
A cute little girl comes running to pick up her damaged kite.
GIRL
My brand new kite.
RICO (approaching the girl)
Oh, suck it up kid. Life's full of disappointments.
The girl's mother comes and leads her away. Rico turns back to Robby.
ROBBY
Looks to me like somebody's been bit by the horseshoe bug.
RICO
I don't get it. I mastered chess in a week. I learned the violin in an afternoon. But your crazy-cowboy carnival game has broken me.
Rico turns away, slightly sobbing. He sits down at a table. Robby circles him.
ROBBY
You need a little help, Rico?
RICO
Yes, please. (bangs his head on the table)
Robby sits down opposite Rico at the table.
ROBBY
Let me tell you something, son. You're going about this all wrong. Throwing horseshoes is not about calculations. It's about finding that place inside yourself that makes you feel right with the world. (grabs up a horseshoe and heads off) For Robby Ray, it's that little creek back home in Tennessee. Old-dog Jake lying there licking the knits off his belly. Horses (???) through the (???). Oh, yeah.
Robby chucks a horseshoe at the pole and it lands precisely down.
ROBBY
Bam!
Rico grabs up a horseshoe and heads for Robby.
RICO
Well that’s it? All I have to do is find my happy place?
ROBBY
If you got one.
Rico gets ready to chuck the horseshoe, just as he suddenly breaks off into a daydream. He's lying in a bathtub full of cash, with a castle on the backdrop wall.
RICO (in the daydream, rubbing the cash against his face)
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
He throws the cash up into the air. Cutting back to real life, Rico inhales a deep breath as he gets ready to chuck. He throws it, and the slow-motion suspense leads people to suspect it may actually land in the correct position... but eventually, reality catches up and it hits against the door of the toilet.
MAN (VO from toilet)
That's not gonna make me go any faster!
Rico turns back to Robby and shrugs.
ROBBY
It also takes years and years practise.
Robby turns around and shoots his horseshoe from behind, and still, it lands on the pole. Robby doesn't even look back but knows that he's got a score.
ROBBY
Bam!
He walks off, leaving Rico dumbfounded.
***
Miley walks into her room, exhausted after a Hannah concert. She takes off her wig and lies back on her bed.
MILEY
I've never been so tired.
Miley sits up on her bed and notices that Lilly's belongings are missing. She reaches behind her and picks up a note from Lilly.
LILLY (VO)
Miley, I heard what you said, so congratulations. You're not stuck with me anymore.
Miley puts down the note, looking upset.
***
Lilly is sitting on her bed in a crammed apartment, looking equally, if not more, upset than Miley. Her father, Kenneth, is hauling up a curtain made of doona covers.
KENNETH
And, wall-ah! Instant privacy for the princess of the castle. Now you see me, and now you...
He bends down to hide himself behind the curtain, but the curtain falls to the ground. He can still be seen.
KENNETH (CONT'D)
...still see me. This is why I got kicked out of junior-high magic club.
LILLY
Its okay, dad. I mean-I'm really looking forward to living here. (sobbing) See? Tears of joy.
Kenneth sits up on the bed beside his daughter and places an arm around her shoulder.
KENNETH
Don't worry, Lilly-bear. It'll be okay.
LILLY
Yeah, yeah. My life is just getting better and better, right? No best friend, no beach and...now my bedroom wall is crumpled on the floor.
KENNETH
I promise, this is just temporary. I will find us a better place to live. (checks his watch) But, uh... right now, I've got to get back to the office. We'll talk more when I get back.
LILLY
Okay.
Kenneth walks over to the desk in front of his bed and sits down on the wheelie-chair.
KENNETH
So, where were we?
Lilly runs over and gives Kenneth a hug.
KENNETH
Oh, that's my girl.
LILLY
Thanks dad.
KENNETH (releasing from Lilly)
Oh, please – not in the office.
LILLY (guilty)
Okay...
Lilly sits down on the bed. There's a knock at the door.
KENNETH
Oh, I hope that's the new phonebook. I've got a quarter-page ad!
He gets up and, making his way through Lilly's belongings, opens the door and Miley steps in.
MILEY
Hey Mr Truscott, can I please speak to Lilly?
LILLY
I have nothing to say to her.
KENNETH (to Lilly)
I understand.
LILLY
Thank you.
KENNETH (to Miley)
Come on in.
Kenneth closes the door as Miley comes into the small apartment.
LILLY
Dad!
Miley walks over to Lilly.
KENNETH
Well, look, whatever happened, you guys have got to talk about it. So, just, you know, go ahead, and I'll be in Lilly's room. (steps over to Lilly's bed and mimes closing a curtain) This'll work better when the curtain's up.
Kenneth jumps to the other side of Lilly's bed into the kitchen. Miley turns to Lilly.
MILEY
Lilly, I'm sorry I said that stuff about you. Please come back.
LILLY
Forget it. It's gonna take a lot more than some lame apology for me to leave all of this.
Lilly sits down on her bed and gestures around the place.
MILEY
Really?
LILLY
Why do you even want me back? I mean, I obviously make you miserable.
MILEY
I didn't mean it.
LILLY
Then why did you say it? Were you just-were you just chatting with your dad and there was this moment of silence and you thought "oh, oh, I know what I'll fill it with! Something cruel and vicious that will break my best friend's heart"?!!
MILEY
Listen, it would only be cruel and vicious if I said it to your face, and in my defence, I thought your face was halfway to the beach.
Lilly gasps.
LILLY
Well, my face came back for sunscreen and it brought my ears with it!
The phone at Kenneth's desk rings.
KENNETH
Oh, uh, sorry... I gotta get that. It's a business call.
Kenneth jumps between the girls and answers the phone.
KENNETH (in a female voice)
Truscott and Associates Public Accountants, Margaret speaking. (holds the phone down on Miley and Lilly's look) You have to sound successful to be successful. Thank you, Margaret. (re-answers the phone) Ken Truscott here. Oh, oh hey, Charlie! (on Miley and Lilly's look) Oh, hang on, I'm gonna' take this into the conference room.
Kenneth steps into his wardrobe and slides the door shut. Miley and Lilly continue their conversation.
LILLY
Next time you have a problem with me, you should just come talk to me about it instead of going behind my back.
Miley follows Lilly into the kitchen. Lilly grabs an apple.
MILEY
All right, fine. I can't stand your midnight-mush talk with Oliver, your leaky-squeaky hamster and the fact that you run away just because you hear something that I say just because I'm tired and cranky. And, last night was kinda' miserable, but I was ten times more miserable when I came home today and saw that my best friend in the world was gone.
LILLY
Ohhhhh.
Lilly goes over and gives Miley a hug. They hear Kenneth snickering from in the wardrobe.
LILLY
Dad? Are you crying in there?
KENNETH (VO) (girly voice)
No, it's me, Margaret. (normal voice) Margaret, get a hold of yourself.
Lilly turns to Miley.
LILLY
So uh... you really want me back?
MILEY
Yeah.
LILLY
But what happens the next time one of us says something to make the other mad?
MILEY
We talk about it and we work it out. Just like family. My house is your house now and nobody's leaving.
Kenneth comes out from the wardrobe, still on the phone.
KENNETH (on the phone)
Charlie, I'm going to have to call you back. My secretary's an emotional wreck.
He hangs up the phone and gets some tissues. Miley and Lilly look on with bizarre glares.
KENNETH
These are for Margaret.
He walks back into the wardrobe and slides the door shut. Miley and Lilly give each other a hug.
***
Jackson comes downstairs whistling, tugging rope with him. He goes down to the couch and attaches it to the bottom hump. He smiles, steps over it and puts his feet up as he sits down and switches the TV on. A few moments later, the rope starts tugging the couch. Upstairs, we find that the other end of the rope is tied to Lilly and Miley's door.
LILLY (VO)
Jackson! Not funny!
JACKSON
Funny for me!
Lilly and Miley come flying down onto the porch from the upstairs window. They open the door and step in, sneaking up and crouching behind Jackson.
JACKSON
That's right. Your tiny female brains are no match for Jackson Rod Stewart's. (pause; sensing Lilly and Miley's presence behind him) I didn't lock the back doors, did I?
LILLY/MILEY (in unison)
Nope.
JACKSON
Well it's a good thing I have one of these.
Jackson leans forward to the coffee table and presses in a button on a remote, which sends a giant net falling down from the roof and engulfing Miley and Lilly.
MILEY/LILLY
Ohhh!!!!!
JACKSON
And dad said you can't learn anything from cartoons.
Jackson gets up and starts dancing around.
JACKSON (sing-song voice)
Roomies, roomies, roomies. Roomies, roomies, roomies.
He dances off towards the kitchen. Miley and Lilly grunt as they try to escape out of the net.
Hannah Montana © Walt Disney. No infringement is intended through the transcription of this episode originally written by Steven James Meyers and Jay J. Demopoulous.
