JACKSON
Yaow ming, I like the view up here! Hello ladies ... Jackson Stewart. (starts walking along) Tall guy. Can't reach that? Let me get it for you! Oh yeah! I should have done this years ago ... (he trips over behind the couch)
Hannah Montana, Lola and Mike walk in carrying bags.
HANNAH
What are you doing on the floor?
JACKSON
(gets to his feet) Just ... lost something.
HANNAH
Oh! (grabs the shoe box from the coffee table) If it's your dignity, you might want to check the empty box of platform shoes! (hands him the box)
JACKSON
I can take these back. Good luck trying to find a store to take back that overbite.
They make petty noises at each other with their lips. Jackson goes over and sits at the table.
LOLA
(to Mike) Sometimes I wish I had a brother. And then I come over here ... all better!
JACKSON
So where were you guys anyway and ... why couldn't you still be there?
LOLA
Rock and Roll fashion awards.
MIKE
(as if to join Jackson) Oh, and it was endless. I mean four hours to find out who won best knee socks? Ptt. (whispering to Jackson) Oh, and by the way, Avril Lavigne, so robbed!
HANNAH
You're just mad because you didn't like the swag bag.
MIKE
Miley, there's nothing in it for guys ... I mean, (takes things from bags) moisturisers, mousses, root rejuvenater ... what is that?
JACKSON
(snatches it from him) I'll tell you what it is. The perfect gift for my next girlfriend! (takes Oliver's bag) Ar, thank you very much.
HANNAH
(as Oliver moves away, to Jackson) Hate to burst your bubble buddy, but that stuff expires in three years.
JACKSON
(mocking Hannah) "That stuff expires in three years".
After continuing to mock each other, Jackson finally walks off upstairs with the bag and Hannah goes back to the living room and joins her friends on the couch.
LOLA
Hey, don't listen to Oliver. I mean, I love mine. Free lip glopper, ... (from hereon she speaks in a numb voice) this is the best swag bag ever. Oh-ow! My lips turned numb. I can't feel my lips!
HANNAH
I can feel your spit.
LOLA
Oh, hey Oliver, you can have my neck cushion.
HANNAH
No, no, no. You should save that for the plane on the class trip to Washington.
LOLA
(guiltily, putting bag and cushion away) Oh yeah. That. I'm not going.
HANNAH
Wait, what do you mean you're not 'bowing'.
LOLA
I just can't afford it this year.
HANNAH
I can pay for you.
LOLA
No, that's to much money.
HANNAH
That's not to much bunny ... (correcting herself) money. Just think of it as ... an early half birthday present.
MIKE
Well actually, you know, tomorrow's my half, half birthday, two weeks removed. And I've never been to Italy.
HANNAH
Oh, you know where else you've never been.
MIKE
Where?
Hannah pushes Mike off the arm rest which he is now sitting on and with a 'whoa' he lands on the floor abruptly. Hannah turns back to Lola.
HANNAH
Please!
LOLA
There will be other trips. Local ones ... (beginning to sob as she walks out) like to the museum of natural history!
Hannah sits on the couch, Mike is now standing beside the couch.
MIKE
You know Miley, I could be wrong ... but I think she really wanted to go.
HANNAH
You are a shining lighthouse in the bay of stupidity.
MIKE
(proudly) Well I have my moments! (with this, he falls down to the ground again. Hannah shakes her head in embarrassment)
Yaow ming, I like the view up here! Hello ladies ... Jackson Stewart. (starts walking along) Tall guy. Can't reach that? Let me get it for you! Oh yeah! I should have done this years ago ... (he trips over behind the couch)
Hannah Montana, Lola and Mike walk in carrying bags.
HANNAH
What are you doing on the floor?
JACKSON
(gets to his feet) Just ... lost something.
HANNAH
Oh! (grabs the shoe box from the coffee table) If it's your dignity, you might want to check the empty box of platform shoes! (hands him the box)
JACKSON
I can take these back. Good luck trying to find a store to take back that overbite.
They make petty noises at each other with their lips. Jackson goes over and sits at the table.
LOLA
(to Mike) Sometimes I wish I had a brother. And then I come over here ... all better!
JACKSON
So where were you guys anyway and ... why couldn't you still be there?
LOLA
Rock and Roll fashion awards.
MIKE
(as if to join Jackson) Oh, and it was endless. I mean four hours to find out who won best knee socks? Ptt. (whispering to Jackson) Oh, and by the way, Avril Lavigne, so robbed!
HANNAH
You're just mad because you didn't like the swag bag.
MIKE
Miley, there's nothing in it for guys ... I mean, (takes things from bags) moisturisers, mousses, root rejuvenater ... what is that?
JACKSON
(snatches it from him) I'll tell you what it is. The perfect gift for my next girlfriend! (takes Oliver's bag) Ar, thank you very much.
HANNAH
(as Oliver moves away, to Jackson) Hate to burst your bubble buddy, but that stuff expires in three years.
JACKSON
(mocking Hannah) "That stuff expires in three years".
After continuing to mock each other, Jackson finally walks off upstairs with the bag and Hannah goes back to the living room and joins her friends on the couch.
LOLA
Hey, don't listen to Oliver. I mean, I love mine. Free lip glopper, ... (from hereon she speaks in a numb voice) this is the best swag bag ever. Oh-ow! My lips turned numb. I can't feel my lips!
HANNAH
I can feel your spit.
LOLA
Oh, hey Oliver, you can have my neck cushion.
HANNAH
No, no, no. You should save that for the plane on the class trip to Washington.
LOLA
(guiltily, putting bag and cushion away) Oh yeah. That. I'm not going.
HANNAH
Wait, what do you mean you're not 'bowing'.
LOLA
I just can't afford it this year.
HANNAH
I can pay for you.
LOLA
No, that's to much money.
HANNAH
That's not to much bunny ... (correcting herself) money. Just think of it as ... an early half birthday present.
MIKE
Well actually, you know, tomorrow's my half, half birthday, two weeks removed. And I've never been to Italy.
HANNAH
Oh, you know where else you've never been.
MIKE
Where?
Hannah pushes Mike off the arm rest which he is now sitting on and with a 'whoa' he lands on the floor abruptly. Hannah turns back to Lola.
HANNAH
Please!
LOLA
There will be other trips. Local ones ... (beginning to sob as she walks out) like to the museum of natural history!
Hannah sits on the couch, Mike is now standing beside the couch.
MIKE
You know Miley, I could be wrong ... but I think she really wanted to go.
HANNAH
You are a shining lighthouse in the bay of stupidity.
MIKE
(proudly) Well I have my moments! (with this, he falls down to the ground again. Hannah shakes her head in embarrassment)
***
OPENING CREDITS
starring MILEY CYRUS
EMILY OSMENT
MITCHELL MUSSO
JASON EARLES
MOISES ARIAS
and BILLY-RAY CYRUS
"HANNAH MONTANA"
***
Lily, Miley, Oliver and many others of the class are listening to Mr. Corelli lecture them in a judges wig.
MR CORELLI
So while you future leaders of America visit Washington .... my city, remember, all men are creatd equal, never tell a lie, and when picking up your costume ... (he stands up) remember to check the size.
The bell rings and everyone jumps up from their desk to go to the next class. Mr. Corelli stops Lily.
MR CORELLI
Ar, Lily, do you have a sec?
LILY
Yeah ... (walks over to his desk) what's up Mr. C?
MR CORELLI
Great news! Looks like just enough money in the budget for one extra student to go to Washington! And I. Was Thinking. You!
LILY
Really!
MR CORELLI
Yeah!
LILY
Thank you so much Mr. C, you're the best teacher in the world.
Miley and Oliver have been standing by the door listening to the whole thing.
MILEY
I told you it would work.
OLIVER
You know Miley, you are the best friend ever. And when you take me to Italy I'm going to buy you a pizza of your choice one topping. Let's not get greedy.
LILY
I can't wait to tell the guys I'm going ... (she notices a cheque hanging from one of Mr. Corelli's books) Why is there a cheque from Miley hanging out of your D.C. Tour book?
OLIVER
Uh-ow.
MR CORELLI
Ar ... I don't know, she's a girl! Why are you interrogating me, what are you, my mother? Gosh!
Mr. Corelli walks over to Miley and Oliver as Lily examines the cheque.
MILEY
Eight years of community theatre and this is the best you can act?
MR. CORELLI
(offended, walking off) I do townspeople! And off stage voices!
Miley turns back into the classroom, to see Lily staring at her with flaring anger.
LILY
Miley Ray Stewart!
MILEY
Miley's not here right now, leave a message! (Miley walks away and hides her head in her locker. Lily follows).
LILY
I see you.
MILEY
(turns around) OK, I just wanted you to go on the trip with me, what's the big deal?
LILY
The big deal is it makes me feel like I'm stealing off you, if I can't pay for it myself, I'm not going. (Lily hands Miley back the cheque)
OLIVER
I've got an idea.
MILEY
We're not going to Italy Oliver.
OLIVER
I was talking about ... (walks over to them) Lily having a rummage sale.
They turn around and see a banner hanging advertising a rummage sale on the weekend.
OLIVER
And I will hold for the applause.
LILY
Hey! A rummage sale, that's a great idea! I've got tons of stuff I don't need. I could totally raise the money. (applauding) Thank you, Oliver!
OLIVER
Yeah, you're welcome Lily.
MILEY
Oliver! That's ... a great idea.
OLIVER
Well you see, that's the thing. The Oiken Mind ... I'm always thinking.
As he is walking, he bumps into an open locker door and falls abruptly to the ground in the similar fashion as to what he displayed at Miley's house.
***
At Rico's Shack, Jackson is carrying a dozen packets of fast food, handling them to the pack of customers with the occasional 'it's coming'. Rico is sitting reading a magazine on the bench.
JACKSON
Rico, Rico, dude, I got half the beach here! Could you do something?
RICO
OK. I'll see what I can do. (he picks up a blow horn) Hey other half of the beach! Two for one hot-dog sale!
Another load of people race over.
JACKSON
He's kidding! He's totally kidding!
It gets to the point where a surfer dude comes and jumps over the counter.
***
There is a mess of empty food boxes littered across the bench, as one man walks off and Jackson finds his way up from behind the mess. Rico is still reading his magazine. Jackson is covered in food and spits out an olive.
JACKSON
Rico, you're killing me here. Would you please hire some more help!
RICO
What do you think, I'm made of money? (he unzips his jacket to reveal stacks of money hanging from his shirt) Oh look, I guess I am. My mistake.
Jackson spots Sarah walking over.
JACKSON
Oh no. She's back!
Jackson drags Rico across the messy bench and hides behind him.
RICO
Sarah's still got a thing for you?
They see that Sarah is picking up rubbish with a claw stick and placing it in the bin.
RICO
Well, it's understandable. She's always picking up... garbage.
JACKSON
It's not funny. She's obsessed.
Jackson grabs Rico, dragging him across to the other side.
JACKSON
Tell me when she's gone!
Jackson quickly jumps down under the counter, out of sight. Sarah walks over.
RICO
Hey Sarah, what's going on?
SARAH
Just cleaning up the beach. I'm getting raw materials for my --- (takes out a carved object) Jackson sculpture!
RICO
Wow, you are crazy. (Sarah gives him a look) ... about him. Hey, how would you like to work here ... next to Jackson ... all day long?
Jackson nudges Rico on the back.
SARAH
Getting paid while I'm working down my man? You bet!
RICO
Great! You start next week. (Jackson continues to harass Rico, giving him a wedgie)
SARAH
OK! Bye!
RICO
Bye!
As Sarah walks off, Rico eventually falls behind the counter and money falls out everywhere.
RICO
Nooo! Not the money suit!
***
At the rummage sale outside Rico's Shack, Oliver is checking some items out while Lily is behind her own stall.
LILY
Thank you! Tell your friends.
She walks over to Oliver.
OLIVER
Oah... Hey Lily, how much for this sketchy thing?
LILY
Five bucks.
OLIVER
I'll give you a buck fifty.
LILY
Forget it!
While Lily turns away, Oliver disables a knob from the back and chucks it away.
OLIVER
But it's missing a knob!
LILY
(snatches it from him) You're a knob! I'm trying to get to Washington, why are you haggling!
OLIVER
What happened to 'the customers always right'?
Lily walks towards him and points a finger at him. Oliver cowers away.
OLIVER
Oh ... my goodness.
Miley walks over dragging along with her a trailer of covered items.
MILEY
Hey guys, hows it going?
LILY
Great, it's going great! I am in the perfect location. I am wearing my lucky hat and hey ... (sing-song voice) I just sold a lamp for a dollar!
MILEY
Oh great! So how much is that you've made so far?
LILY
(sing-song voice) A dollar. (she takes off her hat and violently hits it on the table) Stupid hat, wake up! Start working!
MILEY
Hey, hey. Maybe it already has. I ar, found some stuff I was just about to throw out, and I'd like to donate it to the cause.
LILY
Oh, I guess that'd be OK.
Miley takes the cover from the items on the trailer, revealing boxes of techno-wonders such as a stereo player.
LILY
Are you kidding me!
MILEY
What! This stuff isn't new ... it's just ... I like to keep the boxes, in ... in case we move.
Oliver pops up behind the large box dominating the trailer and is smiling cheekily.
OLIVER
Oh man ... the Talkamori 1080 3D-HD! This just came out today! (Lily gives Miley a look) I'll give you five bucks for it.
LILY
Miley! We talked about this. I'm going to earn this money by myself, now take that stuff back.
MILEY
Fine. (as she turns she picks up a mobile) Oh, how much for this!
LILY
Five bucks.
MILEY
I'll give you a thousand.
LILY
Miley! (snatches it from her)
MILEY
Fine. (walks off)
***
Later on at the rummage sale, Lily comes out of the bathroom and sees that her stall is packed with people. She walks over to Oliver.
LILY
Hey! Look at all these people.
A mother and daughter confront Lily holding two pairs of socks.
MOTHER
I'll give you a hundred for these Hannah Montana autographed socks!
LILY
What? I don't have any ... (looks over and sees Hannah Montana touching everything for sale as the crowd clears)
HANNAH
Hold on, hold on, I'll get to everyone.
Lily walks over.
LILY
Oh Miss Montana!
HANNAH
Oh. Oh hey there person I've never met before in my life. I'm ... I'm just trying out this fine pen. Hopefully I didn't damage ... or radically increase the price of any of these items.
LILY
Out!
HANNAH
I'm going. (turns away)
LILY
Leave the pen!
HANNAH
Oh right! This pen. I'll just put it on the table with all these other stuff I'm touching. Me, Hannah Montana! (she touches various items spread across the table)
The crowd race over to the table as Hannah moves away.
LILY
Hey!
***
Lily and Oliver are sitting opposite each other at a table after the rummage sale has finished, Oliver counting all of Lily's earnings.
LILY
Come on, lucky hat! Come on! Come on!
OLIVER
Well ... ar ... you made enough to get to Washington.
LILY
Yes!
OLIVER
If you left ... ar, from you know, Washington. (hands Lily the money)
LILY
(let down) Ohhh...
OLIVER
Lily, I don't know why you didn't just sell some of that signed Hannah stuff.
LILY
Forget it! So,.. I'll stay home. So what. Someone has to ... get peoples mail ... and wash their stupid plants and ... feed their little boring ungrateful turtles ... (holds out a note for Oliver) Bring me back a t-shirt.
OLIVER
I'm sorry Lily. (takes some more money) T-shirts are a little bit more expensive than that.
Lily sadly walks away, but is greeted by a stranger.
MAN
Oh, excuse me, where did you get that hat!
LILY
A gift store specializing in unlucky junk.
MAN
I'll give you a thousand bucks for it!
LILY
What!
MAN
That's an authentic New Jersey Knight's hat! You know, my father, he played second base for them. In the 1940's! (takes money from pocket) Please let me buy it.
LILY
(guilty) I mean ... a thousand dollars and I only paid two bucks for it.
OLIVER
You need five hundred to get to DC.
LILY
Five hundred and it's yours.
OLIVER
(under his breath) T-shirt!
LILY
Five twenty!
The man hands Lily the cash and Lily hands him the hat.
LILY
There you go.
The man puts the hat on his head and begins to walk off.
MAN
Thank you so much.
LILY
No, no, no. Thank you! (she starts to dance as Miley walks over)
MILEY
Hey Lily! Either somebody's got sand in their pants or they're going to DC!
LILY
Little bit of both! Whoa! (the two of them link arms and 'happy dance' together) Hang on, hang on! Wait a minute ... my father played second base? I'll give you a thousand bucks? Miley! You set this up.
MILEY
Set what up? What are you talking about?
LILY
Look me in the eye and super secret swear that you did not give that guy money to buy my hat.
MILEY
(looks Lily in the eyes) Lily, I did not give that guy money to buy your hat. Super secret swear.
LILY
Yes! I'm going to DC! (Overjoyed, Lily skips off doing cart wheels)
Miley turns back to Oliver who is giving her a deathly scare.
MILEY
What! I did not give that guy money to buy Lily's hat! I gave it to his wife, she gave it to him. (Miley turns away and sits down on a seat)
OLIVER
Miley, you know she's gonna find out someday.
MILEY
Yeah, I know but I thought about it, and figured by then I will have done so many things that are worse it won't really matter.
Lily can be seen in the background behind them doing cartwheels.
LILY
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!!
***
Washington, DC - the group are on the subway, with Mr. Corelli taking photos of himself.
MR CORELLI
S-weet!
Lily and Oliver are sitting over on a seat together watching Lily.
MILEY
(referring to Lily) You see that smile? 'Cause of me! That laugh - I did that! Sometimes a little white lie can make it all good.
Oliver notices a boy from their class sitting on the seat wearing the hat that the man bought from Lily.
OLIVER
And sometimes a little red hat can make that all go away ...
MILEY
Huh? Oh no. The guy I got to buy Lily's hat was Blabby Bobby's daddy!
OLIVER
You know this wouldn't of happened if we were in Italy ... they were beret's!
MILEY
That's France! Now ... just ... just distract her! (stands up) Lily! Oliver's having trouble breathing!
OLIVER
I am?
Miley elbows him in the stomach and he slumps back down onto the seat as Lily walks over.
MILEY
I think it's the reaction to being underground. Try to relax him, I'll go get Corelli!
Miley walks away, Lily pats Oliver on the back.
LILY
Oh, oh, OK. Are you a little bit nervous there? (Oliver says something; short of breath) Yes, yes, I know! Miley's getting Corelli to help ... don't worry, you're going to be fine.
Miley confronts "Blabby Bobby", who is looking down at reading material.
MILEY
Hey Blabby! How's the trip going so far? You have great hair. Let me touch it!
Miley violently sweeps the hat from Blabby's head and ruffles her hand through his curly hair.
BLABBY
Ah ... Miley ... I have a girlfriend.
MILEY
Cool. See you at the White House! (Miley attempts to walk off)
BLABBY
Um ... can I have my hat back!
Miley hides it behind her back.
MILEY
What hat?
Lily walks over.
LILY
Oliver says you punched him!
MILEY
(shouting at Oliver) Good luck getting to France! He's a liar.
Blabby snatches the hat from behind Miley's back where she is holding it.
LILY
Hey! Is that my hat?
BLABBY
No.
MILEY
Nop! He's hat. See ya, buh-bye Blabby!
BLABBY
Yeah, my dad got it at a rummage sale last week and told me not to tell anybody. Woops!
MILEY
Doohp! (she hits herself in the head)
LILY
See! I told you it was my hat. (to Blabby) Hey, Blabby, be careful, I mean, I know how much it means to your grandfather.
BLABBY
What?
LILY
Your grandfather, the one who played for the New Jersey Knights.
MILEY
Yeah, yeah! (i don't know what she is meaning or saying) 1948! You must be so proud. (Blabby walks away, Lily turns to Miley in disgust) Who wants to sing the Subway song? The wheels on the train go clickity-clack, clickity clack ...
LILY
You lied to me!
MILEY
Well ...
LILY
You super-secret swore that you had nothing to do with me getting the money!
MILEY
Look ... I ... I did it for you!
LILY
No you didn't! If you had done it for me you wouldn't of done it because I told you I didn't want you to do it, but you did it anyway, so you did it for you. You .. dooer for youer!
Lily storms off.
MILEY
Come on Lily, give me a break! We're in DC! Everybody lies here.
Miley takes a seat as Mr. Corelli comes over to announce they are about to stop ...
MR CORELLI
Hold on kids, we're about to ...
But it's to late ... Mr. Corelli falls to the ground as the subway pulls up at its stop.
MR CORELLI (V/O)
It's OK ... my tazer broke my fall! (an electrical buzzing sound can be heard) Arghh!!
***
Back at Rico's Shack, Jackson is cleaning up a table's rubbish, and as he turns Sarah is sitting a table staring dreamily at him. Jackson stumbles back in shock.
JACKSON
Would you stop that! Just ... get to work!
As he walks away over to the rubbish bin to dispose of the litter, he turns back and Sarah is standing beside him. He jumps back in shock.
JACKSON
Sarah ... this is never going to happen!
SARAH
Yes it is!
Jackson rolls his eyes and walks off, as a cute girl follows behind.
CUTE GIRL
Hey Jackson ...
Before she can catch up with him, Sarah restrains her back by holding her hand over her neck.
SARAH
(remains calm) Step off sister! Or I'll hurt you! Have a nice day! (waves her off as she lets go)
Jackson runs over to Rico who is standing behind the counter.
JACKSON
Hey! You have got to get rid of her!
RICO
Why ... is she driving you crazy?
JACKSON
Yeah!
RICO
Great! Then she's doing her job.
Jackson turns to walk away, but is stopped when he bumps into Sarah. He cowers back in shock again.
***
Rico is asleep on the chair and Sarah is working behind the counter.
SARAH
Who ordered the nachos?
A customer walks over.
CUSTOMER
That's me.
SARAH
Hold out your hands.
The customer holds out his hands and Sarah tips the nachos from the aluminum tray onto his hands.
CUSTOMER
What about a plate!
SARAH
Ah ... plates come from trees. Trees give us oxygen. We need oxygen to live, do you want to die!
CUSTOMER
(tips nachos from his hands) I'm not paying for this.
Rico suddenly wakes as the customer walks off.
RICO
Not paying! (he jumps off the counter) who's not paying! Who's not paying!
SARAH
It's funny. People are having a hard time with Rico's growing green.
RICO
Rico's growing what!
Another customer walks over to Sarah who is behind the counter.
CUSTOMER
Can I get a refill on my soda?
SARAH
Sure! Hands or mouth?
CUSTOMER
Hands. (holds out his hands)
Sarah reaches for the soda sprayer and sprays some into the customer's hand. He walks off slurping at it. As he is gone, the power behind the counter suddenly goes out.
SARAH
Must be a problem with the new generator. You get what you pay for.
Sarah walks away to the back room where a man in his mid-fifties is slowly pedaling a bike.
SARAH
Pick it up, pick it up!
SARAH'S FATHER
Sorry Sarah, I just need a little break, my legs are cramping.
SARAH
We're saving a planet here! Suck it up, Dad!
SARAH'S FATHER
Alright! I lost sight of the big picture.
Sarah continues to encourage him.
Back at the counter Rico is sitting on a seat watching Sarah, Jackson closely by him.
JACKSON
Well, well, well. Who's having a problem with our new employee now?
RICO
You're right. Green girl's gotta go! (he now shouts madly) Sarah! Over! Here! Now!
SARAH
(walks over) Did I do something wrong?
RICO
Where do I begin? No plates, no cups, no customers, no cash, no HAPPY!
A light suddenly fuses. Rico goes and confronts Sarah's father on the bike.
RICO
Hey Lance Armstrong! Slow down!
SARAH'S FATHER
[THIS IS AN INTERPRETATION BECAUSE I CAN'T COMPREHEND]: You the bird from mother?
Rico walks off shaking his head.
RICO
I'm sorry Sarah, but in the words of my hero, the great Donald Shrump, (looks upwards) bless be his name. You're F...F...F...
Sarah's face turns into a sad and hurt comprehension. Rico can't bring himself to fire her.
RICO
What are you doing?
SARAH
(brings herself together) Being brave.
Jackson motions at Rico to burn her. (fire her)
RICO
You're FI ... FI ... (Sarah repeats her expressions) PROMOTED!
JACKSON
What!
RICO
From now on, you're assistant manager.
SARAH
Really!
RICO
Just get some plates and cups we can use.
SARAH
I know where we can get environmentally friendly paper products made out of elephant poop!
Rico stares down in horror of the thought proposed by Sarah.
RICO
(sarcastically) Great ... just don't tell the customers.
Sarah races off.
JACKSON
Rico, what are you doing!
RICO
You got a problem? Take it up with your new boss.
Rico walks off, and as Jackson turns the opposite direction, he sees Sarah sitting at the table behind him staring dreamily at him.
SARAH
I know how you can be employee of the month!
Jackson scrunches up his face and sighs in scarceness.
***
Back at DC – Miley’s class, with Mr. Corelli leading, are following the Tour Guide through the White House. Miley and Lily are at the back of the group.
Has he tried more fibre in his diet?
Oliver! (turns to back to Tour Guide) Think the kids’ a bit jetlagged. Carry on. (he gives Oliver a look)
(to Lily) Lily, I need to …
I’m not …
No talking!
Well, I’ll promise. But you might want to get hers in writing.
Oh come on, you did that one on purpose.
Lily! Come on. Can’t we just skip to the part where you know, you forgive me, and we hug and that imaginary audience in my head goes ‘ohhhh’.
No! You broke a super secret swear.
Not technically. You asked me if I gave the money to Blabby’s dad, I didn’t. I gave it to his mom.
Yeah well you broke the spirit of the stuper secret … the swooper secret … the … you know what I mean!
All clear, checking north corridor.
We are talking about this!
Nooo!
Lily! I only lied because you wouldn’t let me help you.
I didn’t want your help and I didn’t want your money.
Yeah but you wanted to be here and now you are isn’t that all that matters?
No! You lied to my face Miley, how can I trust you again after that?
Has she ever lied to you before?
Lily and Miley turn to see an audience of reporters sitting on chairs listening in on their conversation.
What?
Jay Demoplus, reporter for the Boston Times, does she have a history of lying to you?
Ar no, not really, I think we’re in the wrong room, I’m going to head back to the tour.
Steve Meyer, (___) Gazette, you seem like you’re running away from something.
Excellent point Steve. Care to elaborate on that? (Miley pushes herself and Lily forward to the lectern situated in front of the press) You know, they’re not the press, they have a right to know.
No, Miley, this is private! I mean, they are very busy people, I’m sure they have better things to do.
Are you joking? We’re bored to tears. We’ve been waiting for the president for three hours.
So Miley, you believe under certain circumstances it’s OK to lie?
Well … you’re right, they’re busy people, they don’t have time for us …
No, no, no, no, like you said, they aren’t the press, they have a right to know.
Yeah, come on, answer the question!
(to Lily) Tough room! Alright, listen people, here’s the truth. She’s my best friend. And she wouldn’t let me help her.
Ar… Jay, and then you at the back.
(stands) Is it true? You wouldn’t let her help?
Well only because she’s always helping me and I wanted to do this by myself. If she was really my best friend, she would’ve listened.
Lily, that’s –
Hey, excuse me, can you guys just hold on for one second … we’re busy here. (the guards give a wave and back off) Thank you. (Miley returns to the lectern) Lily, you’re right. You’re not my best friend. You’re more than that, you’re like my sister!
Really?
Yes. And how could I let my sister stay home when I know there’s something I can do to help. What do you say?
Well, I guess I was being a little stubborn. I mean, I guess there’s no shame in taking help from your sister.
Hey!! Just like in my head!
(seductive voice) Hiii.
Hey.
You’re cute.
JACKSON
Oh no. No, no, no. You definitely don’t want to go there.
Ohhh… playing hard to get.
Seriously. I really think that you should leave.
And if I don’t …. ?
(as she releases) Don’t you be flirting with my man. (harmonious voice) OK, bye!
Hannah Montana ©
to the Walt Disney Company. This blog does not claim ownership of the reproduced transcripts provided on this blog.
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